Miss North Metro Outstanding Teen 2010!

Miss North Metro Outstanding Teen 2010!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Count your blessings... Seriously.

This morning I lost a long-time friend , Conor Smith. I can honestly say that the past 2 days have been some of the hardest I have experienced.

Conor and I grew up together. His mom and my mom were really good friends and we did so much together. We always had a fun time together!

Conor was first diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2007, which was treated with chemotherapy and a few months after that he was diagnosed with leukemia. Chemo treatment after chemo treatment, he thankfully went into remission. I think that all of his family and friends finally took a deep breath. The type of leukemia he had was the easiest to treat and cure in children, so we all had high hopes that this was the end of his cancer journey.

But in August of 2010, he relapsed. That awful thing that I thought would never come back... did. For the past month, all he did was struggle. He was going through intense chemo to try to get back into remission so he could have a bone marrow transplant that would have saved his life. But of course, obstacles were put in his way. First he got a fungal infection in his blood, and that led to him getting bacterial meningitis, which is almost impossible to cure. After going through so many rounds of chemo, he had no immune system. His already fragile body couldn't fight off the invader that was taking over his body. The meningitis spread throughout his body and to his brain, which put him in a coma with no hope of getting out.

My Mom and I felt compelled to go down and see him one last time. We made the drive to Amplatz Children's Hospital yesterday to see him and his family. I hadn't see him for over 2 years, and when I saw him in that hospital bed unconsious, I didn't want to believe what was happening. He breathing was shallow and his blood pressure was dropping by the hour. I knew it wouldn't be long, but I'm so lucky to have been there to bless him with oils and pray for his journey into Heaven. I blessed his hand and I couldn't help but think how lifeless he looked. Half of his soul was already in Heaven.

My mom was the one who blessed his ear, and I wondered if Conor could hear while in his coma. They say that if you are in a coma your hearing is sharper. It wasn't until his mom started talking to him and I physically saw his blood pressure go up that I knew he could hear. Later we realized that that was God's gift to Conor after my mom had blessed his ear. Christ gave Conor his hearing so he could hear all of us celebrating the good times in his life and saying goodbye for the final time. I don't think I've ever felt anything so powerful.

We stayed for a few more hours but realized that there was nothing we could do anymore. We blessed him and thats all we could've done besides wait. With much sadness, I had to say my final goodbye to Conor knowing I would never see him with a heartbeat again. That was one of the hardest things, I can't even put it into words.

It's hard to imagine Conor not being here anymore, but I know that he and God are having a good time hanging out and playing video games :) I can still hear Conor in his sarcastic voice saying "shocker". That was his favorite word.

Conor has made me realize how precious life really is. Never was he negative about his situation. He was always a posistive person, and I want to live my life more like Conor. So as the title of this blog says.... Count your blessings, people. Seriously. One day you'll blink and realize you've lost a friend. Don't ever take anything for granted, including your health. Be more positive and don't ever forget the simple power of the word "thank you". Trust that God's plan is greater and try to be apart of something greater than yourself.

Conor may never have his first girlfriend or his first kiss. Nor will he graduate from high school or college. He won't ever get his first house or his first real job. He won't ever fall in love, get married, and start a family. But Conor will get to walk with Christ for all of eternity. He gets to wake up to the beautiful face of our Lord and live in a place that is pain and cancer free. He won't ever have to worry about anything. He will get to do all of those things that he couldn't do on Earth in Heaven.

Conor, thanks for being such a great friend. I'm sorry I couldn't always be there for you, but I miss you already and I love you. Make sure to save me a spot in Heaven. I know you're smiling down right now on all of us.

Christ, I'm trusting that you took this 15 year olds life for a reason. I have no clue what that reason is, and as unfair as I think it is, I'm putting my complete trust in you. Keep him safe up there. Thanks.

Bailey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YMLmlHfehQ

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